I am not sure what having a nervous breakdown feels like. But if I would have to guess I would say I am having one. I cry all the time, have no motivation other than to make sure my son is taken care of. Myself I couldn’t care less about. I eat because I know I have too, not because I want too. I have problems sleeping at night, my thoughts won’t stop. And when I do finally fall asleep I usually wake up every half hour or so. And when I am sleeping I have really strange dreams. I can’t always remember what they are about, I just remember that it was strange. I can’t be motivated to clean the house. Finally did laundry today and was going to do the dishes but well I couldn’t be bothered about that. I tried to get a friend to go and do coffee yesterday but like usual she bailed on me at the last minute. I am always there for her, but doesn’t seem like she can ever be there for me. I am very short tempered with my son and my dog. My son and I had a fight on Sunday and I told him to just go and pack his bags and get out. I then said something about him needing to go to his room and he said no he isn’t going. I then said something like he will get up those stairs …… so fast I will make your head spin. He then said he would report me for child abuse. Normally that would scare me, but nope not that day. I handed him the phone and said go for it. He didn’t know the number so I even looked that up for him. I really don’t care anymore. Honestly, I wish someone would just kill me. I have thought about it, but can’t think of a way for it to happen where my son will still get my life insurance.